Thankful Thursdays!

Today, I am thankful for…

Letting that crazy colored school bus out in front of me.

Sir Gus. He's just that royal.

Sir Gus. He’s just that royal.

And yes, he’s totally a real-azz camel hanging out of the emergency exit on a moving school bus. You can’t tell that camel what to do!

Also thankful for…

Having gotten to see Sigur Ros and Nine Inch Nails mere weeks apart!

Sigur rocked my non-existent balls off.

Sigur rocked!

 

NIN!

NIN!

I’m thankful for this meme texted to me as it related to conversation from Penny:

Stuffed Crust Pizza

Stuffed Crust Pizza

And for our mutual friend, Ernie thinking that “sleeping in” is defined by being able to meet and coordinate a group outing 40 minutes away at 11:00 in the morning:

(We asked if we could have nachos, but Ernie had her own agenda.)

(We asked if we could have nachos, but apparently Ernie had her own agenda.)

Happy Thankful Thursdays y’all! Now get out there and be somebody!

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The Magic of Rahat and The Lone Nut

I have been off in the wild blue yonder fighting the forest fires of the internal turmoil that are my artistic endeavors. (It’s not actually turmoil, but I liked that it made it seem more dramatic.) I have also been consuming a lot of Pad Thai and midnight VH1. SO I have decided to post something enjoyable that is shorter, as it might be a better route than waiting until I have the eight years I need to put together what I deem to be “a proper post.”

I will start with the following. Before your mind gets scared, this is picture proof of Smith’s insistence on clinging to the empty tinfoil of cookies that he consumed over Christmas. He is currently insisting on keeping this remnant of holiday bliss because it houses one, lone, chocolate-covered cashew that fell off of a chocolate haystack circa December 28th. Warning, what you are about to see may disturb you:

I'll won't let go, Jack. I'll never let go.

I’ll won’t let go, Jack. I’ll never let go.

Next, this video made me laugh extremely hard today. I may be overreacting, but if I were about twenty years older, I am more than certain I would have needed a Poise pad and possibly a bath.

I hope you enjoy this video as much as I did.

For the 50+ crowd, please feel free to use a Poise at your discretion.

Epcot is 30!

Yeah!

Smith found out that Epcot turned 30 yesterday, and that there were magical celebrations planned! So we high tailed it down to the Mouse House and spent the afternoon riding things and laughing at a lot of nothings. The first of the laughable nothings happened in Norway at the Epcot World Showcase, where this was happening, despite the signs. In fact, right next to the signs:

Strollers gonna stroll, son!

There were a lot of additional signs in Norway that mentioned Fjording. (One is in the background of that photo.) I’m not even positive what fording means to a Norwegian, but judging by the amount of things it’s written on, it seems important. Regardless, “fjording” made Smith and I giggle. Mainly because we used “fjord” to replace various words like “fart” in our conversation.

It might be a “you had to be there” funniness, but I think everyone can find some kind of humor in a good fjording reference.

I waited in line at Mission to Mars with Smith, but decided not to ride it because I wanted to not go to heaven via an amusement park ride. I mean, I’m just not willing to skip seeing the iPhone 6 to ride that shiz.

Apparently, nothing says “space” like a bunch of big balls.

 

Come to the dark side, we have cookies.

The Food and Wine festival had just started and I was able to trick Smith into eating fake beef at the Terra stand. He seemed to enjoy it while I ate my gyro. Oh delicious gyros, why can’t I quit you?

As usual, Illuminations, the fireworks display on the World Showcase lagoon, started promptly at 9. It was beautiful. We watched near Canada, which I think will always be one of our favorite places to watch the show.

BOOM!

Because of the birthday, they started a second fireworks display right after Illuminations. It was like 20 minutes of awe and shock, due to the sheer number of explosions. At one point I lost my balance from the force/fear of the explosions and thought “holy shit, has this thing just lost control?”

Say whaaaaaaat?

But it hadn’t lost control. It had just made me its bish, and I was covered in the ash to prove it. I don’t know if Disney will be doing this celebratory display throughout the week – but it would definitely be worth stopping by just in case!

FU: It’s in the mail!

It’s official, the crappy magnets are in the mail! I thought of the most magical way that I could send these (as I imagine a unicorn would never settle for anything less than magical when it came to mailing shit) and this is what I came up with:

Magic Kingdom in the house!!!

I outfitted each envelope with retro stamps. Mainly because I have a shit load of stamps I bought in 2005 and I don’t mail letters very often ever. Smith assisted me in depositing the letters into the official Magic Kingdom Walt Disney World mailbox:

RETRO STAMPS TAKE FLIGHT!

I will have you know, the entire park celebrated the departure of your mail with a giant fireworks display, after the sun went down…

BOOM GOES THE DYNAMITE!

Look for them in your mailbox soon! Thanks again for participating and congratulations! 😀

A Unicorn Haul

Excuse my absence as I have been celebrating my birthday like a mullafugga. This story isn’t particularly “funny” but it is self-gratifying because it is mostly about me and cake. Yep, that’s right, my birthday happened – people were flying in to visit, cupcakes were consumed, and the gifts… oh the gifts… yeah we’re gonna talk about this.

To kick off the birthday celebrations my lovely took me to ol’ Disney World, and got us the game of LIFE, Disney’s Haunted Mansion edition. Let me tell you, they had me at tiny houses and hitchhiking ghosts! Of course, I have gone on to lose 4 out of the 5 times we’ve played, but I recommend it because I like rainbow spiny wheels. I think I could master this shiz if I could stop randomly picking the role of Maid every time, from a freshly shuffled deck no less, but I digress.

Life: Disney’s Haunted Mansion style

My best friend sent me a unicorn pillow pet “Dream Lite” – DID YOU HEAR THAT?! As seen on tv, bitchez!!! Oddly, every time the commercial was on I would exclaim “THERE’S NO WAY THAT THING DOES THAT! I DECLARE PILLOW LIGHT BULLSHIZ ON THIS!” To which my lovah would say, “Aww baby, do you want that?” Damn it if he doest know my inner monologue “YES I FUGGIN WANT THAT!” Needless to say, I was pleasantly surprised at it’s rockin’ status! It lights up the ceiling of my adult vaulted ceiling bedroom like the dickens with stars, moons and unicorn head (there’s only one – not uniporn or anything)! It’s cute too! If you have kids or child-like totally normal adult friends like me, you should buy this for them!

My brother insists that his horn is a penis.

A related tidbit: The Dream Lite arrived in a “Babies R Us” package on my doorstep. Initially, I assumed it was something I had purchased for Penny’s new baby but I popped the lid and was like “AH SNAP THIS SHIT IS MINE, I’M KING OF THE WORLD!” as I hoisted the package over my head – which made my boyfriend, Smith, giggle pretty good.

My aunt and uncle flew in to spend the week with us. It ended up being a food tour, and we ate everything that ever existed, in every nation. I don’t believe my uncle has gone on “vacation” since 1996 – but I think he will be back, because he enjoyed Benihana of Tokyo, Raglan Road’s bread pudding, and sleeping in our pool everyday for 2-12 hours.

THIS UNCLE JUST GOT OWNED, SON!

I found this shirt at Wally World, and gave it to myself. It still counts as a bday gift ’cause it was on my bday and it’s awesome.

Honey Badger 

I wore it to Epcot. We ate in Morocco and the servers kept asking me about it:

Server #1: “You like the honey, yes? Honey is good.”

Me: “Well, yes I like honey, but this is the Honey Badger, do you know him?”

Server #1 as #2 joins in: “Honey badger love the honey too, yes? Honey is good. The honey is, yes. He is right.”

Me: “Well, I don’t know if he eats honey, but do you know YouTube?”

Server #1,#2 and #3 onlooking: “You too? Yes, I love the honey.”

Me: “No, YOU TUBE? Honey Badger is a video on there… look it up, it’s funny”

Server # 3 “OH, yes! You Tube Honey Badger make GRRROWL GROOWL I LOVE THE HONEY!” *Makes claw hands in scratchy motion* as Server #1 and #2 enthusiastically await my reaction

My reaction =

@_@ ?

Server #2 hands me taziki as peace offering, or because he felt we bonded about the honey thing…

Anyhoo, here are some other random photos of my life without you:

Best boyfriend and birthday celebration vacation, ever!

In other news, does anyone have any idea what the eff is happening in this commercial? I saw it 40 million times over vacation and I still don’t get it.

Good to be back! Hollah at cha boy dot com! ❤