Voyage of The Mad Crapper

Voyage of The Mad Crapper

At work, in the men’s bathroom, there are several urinals but only one stall. (I will get to how and why I know this and it does not involve a need for making love in strange places.) Clearly, this plan for one stall in a men’s bathroom came from some woman – because I know dudes love pooping more than girls love shopping and no guy would do this kinda thing to his own kind. Anyhow, I work in a high rise and our bathrooms are part of the building – so anyone can use them if they live in the building, are a client, staff – but mainly the bathrooms on this particular floor are meant for the businesses here.

We noticed recently that a particular male was always en route to the bathroom, newspaper, ipod, iphone, or ipad in-hand. Whenever I saw them en route I thought “Oh, he must be going to a meeting and stopping in to tinkle first,” because I’m a toilet-half-full kind of gal. But then, the more we all paid attention (mainly because it became a popular topic at meetings) we deduced that the dude was practically camping out in the one stall – like countless hours of ipadding, cross-stitching, newspaper reading, doing taxes, etc. (He is an employee at a neighboring business so this is during the average work day.) I pray to gawd he actually did poop during his time at the rabbit hole. If not he’s pooing he’s at high risk to gain hemorrhoids and lose total ass circulation. One guy said he walked in and heard a MLB baseball game being broadcast from the stall, while “The Mad Crapper” was away from his desk. Now that’s a fan! All this to say, the problem was NOT that this fella was livin’ la vida loca in the men’s restroom – it was that if you were having an emergency, “prairie dogging” if you will, and were male- you couldn’t ever get a room at the inn, so to speak.

SO, to help alleviate the anger of the males on the floor I developed this sign, and hung it on the lone stall’s door.

Workin’ 9-5, son!


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