FU and the Z-man

I like to drive around town with my lil doggy man. I like to imagine that he is my tiny butler and I am chauffeuring him here and there on his day off. (Please picture him in a tiny top hat and monocle.) We have a grand time tearing up the town.

Rollin’ wit mah homie.

We do all sorts of things during our many adventures. Sometimes “we” have conversations where I ask him about his tiny day at his tiny office – totally normal shit like that. Sometimes we sing songs. He actually does sing, he just gets all of the lyrics totally wrong. (Annoy-ying.) Anyhow, it is in the song singing area of our relationship that I was recently forced to do a little thought and reflection. By “thought and reflection” I mean “evaluate if I have a problem” or just a “quirky personality trait.”

Smith’s family was in town, and I decided to hit up the Starbuck’s drive thru for everyone. I always let little “Z-man” go with me when I do drive thru anythings. We were off to get delicious coffee treats! When I got to the ol’ ‘bucks- the line was a small, 4 million cars deep. I prepared mentally for the wait, so I was not stressed. To pass the time I began a conversation with my dog. Moved forward 1/2 a car length, waited. Next, I began singing (using my inside voice) to Z-man. Moved forward 1/4 car length, waited. Cut to, 4 car lengths later, I was full on dedicating my rendition of the A-Team theme to my dog in my full-on show choir voice.  By the time I was 3 cars from the window, I likely could have opened on Broadway.

Lit-tleZ-man IS the best dog in town!

Lit-tleZ-man, came to par-ty down…

HUH? Is that song really about meeeee?

During the last bit of our wait, –> (please insert an 80’s montage of me and my dog doing various things in the car; high fiving, telling scary stories under a blanket, star gazing, Chinese fire drill, trying on clothes, playing video games, roasting marshmallows, etc.) It was finally our turn! We were both drooling at the thought of that sweet, sweet Frappuccino. I whipped out my debit card and cheerfully tried to hand it over to the drive-thru attendant. To which, Starbuck’s chick shakes her head “no”, and puts up her stop-in-the-name-of-love hand.

*holds microphone on headset*

“That guy in front of you, totally paid for all of your stuff.”

“Wwwwwhhhat?” Says me in a Scooby Doo-like voice.

“Yeah, he said he wanted to do something nice for you because of long the wait. He was super awesome. He said you were entertaining.”

And so it was then I realized that I was just a car length away from Jesus, or at the very least, possibly one of the earth’s coolest men, and that he possibly thought he was buying a crap load of coffee for a “nice retarded girl, who just learned to drive.” Either way, free Starbuck’s coffee is free Starbuck’s coffee.

Where’s my Frappuccino, bish?!

Thank you random act of kindness man! I will find you, and you will marry one of my friends one day. Once you have mentally prepared yourself for that, meet me back at the Starbucks. I’ll buy you some coffee!

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7 thoughts on “FU and the Z-man

  1. Score! I like to have conversations with my cats too. When I ask my cat how her day was I usually get a meow. I also like to sing songs about them. I am sure they appreciate my out of tune lyrics. lol

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