That time I was almost the next big thing in voiceover talent

In celebration of the quickly approaching holiday season, I would like to share a highlight of my work history. My profession is a creative one. I get to design art stuff like logos and […leaping…] commercials. Last year, I came up with a holiday commercial concept for one of our clients, an indoor arena football team. The video guys finished editing the commercial spot but didn’t have the voiceover back for first round approvals. They needed a “monster truck type-voice.”

This, to me, means “grumbly ridiculous guy voice.” So imagine my surprise when they asked if I wanted to take a crack at the script. I was like “HEY! EFF YOU… yes I would love to do the monster truck voiceover.”

It was soon thereafter my voiceover talents were dismissed for sounding “too racist.” But I totally sounded monster truck in my head. The whole time I was recording I was like “HELL YEAH I’M NAILIN’ THIS SHIZ, DAWG!” *high fives to self* and picturing how I was gonna be a millionaire just like that bum who became a voiceover sensation. I was also picturing myself dressed as a wizard, totally spilling a giant bucket of gold coins down a mountain top. MILLIONS! Anyhow, I couldn’t find the finished commercial – but I found the VO track:

Soon after starting the recording session, I quickly learned it’s hard to grumble your voice if you’re a girl. YOU GO AHEAD AND TRY IT! I don’t even know what kind of dialect I am channeling in this spot, but I’m pretty sure I’ve never been there. But now I want to go to there so bad!

Perhaps SNL might will want to cast me for their Underground Easter music festival promotions.

Click to see >  SNL Underground Easter Music Festival

“Racist” my buttcheeks – I’m just “crunk-ass” according to that SNL video.

RIP Ass Dan, you will be missed. Also, just to be clear: I ❤ Ethnicities! NOH8!


7 thoughts on “That time I was almost the next big thing in voiceover talent

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