Art Students Like Funyuns

My best friend, Lala is moving away to a magical island! We don’t live in the same state now, but for some reason thinking about her moving has made me nostalgic for our BFF experiences thus far, including college. I was an art student, she was a math major – but eventually she came to the dark side because we had cookies. I couldn’t have been happier because with us both in art classes together, they had two carbon copies of sparkly snarkdom at their immediate disposal. This post is a tribute to our college days!

WHEN SCHEDULING SAID THERE WAS ONLY ROOM FOR ONE MORE IN THE CLASS:

Stay real still, they won’t notice a thing.

“SHIT! THE C- PARKING LOT IS FULL AND WE’RE LATE!” :

Yeeeah, we’re gonna need to call security to get this out of this shit after class.

WHEN NEITHER OF US LOOKED AT A CAMPUS MAP WHILE ELECTING OUR FRESHMAN CLASSES:

Shit! I got side pains, yo!

WHEN IN ART HISTORY WONDERING WHY GHANT, A PROFESSOR BORN AND RAISED IN NORTH CAROLINA, HAS A BRITISH ACCENT:

What the shit?

(SKIPPING HIS CLASS TO GO TO THE OLIVE GARDEN):

Boo-yeah!

WHEN THE PROFESSOR LIKES THE CLASS SUCK-UP’S ART PROJECTS MORE THAN ANYONE ELSES:

TO THE TEACHER WHEN STUDENT REVIEWS FAVORED OUR ART WORK MORE THAN THE SUCK-UP’S:

I will cut a bish.

WHEN THE COLOR THEORY PROFESSOR WANTS TO KNOW “WHO’S ART IS THIS? THE COLORS ARE NOT MIXED REALISTICALLY…”:

“Psst… say it’s yours, I’ll buy you lunch.”

OUR REACTION HEARING WE WILL HAVE “MALE NUDE MODELS IN LIFE DRAWING TOMORROW”:

“Brown-chicken-brown-cow” (say it out loud.)

OUR REACTION WHEN THE OLD NUDE MODELS DISROBED IN CLASS, REVEALING MUCH MORE HAIR ACCUMULATION THAN WE HAD MENTALLY PREPARED FOR:

What is THAT?!

“NICOLE, PICK A PARTNER…”

O’tay!

WHEN VISITING THE RALEIGH ART MUSEUM FOR AN ASSIGNMENT:

*FARTS*

TYPICAL ART STUDENT:

Mmmrph…

US:

I’ll tell you what I want… “I WANT A SON!”

“YOU HAVE FOUR HOURS, THERE WILL BE ONE, FIVE-MINUTE BREAK, TWO HOURS IN. PLEASE OPEN YOUR BLUE EXAM BOOKLETS, NOW”:

Ah crap!

SEEING THE MEANEST, SKINNIEST CHEERLEADER FROM HIGH SCHOOL AT SUBWAY ON TATE STREET. NOTICING SHE GAINED 60 POUNDS AT COLLEGE:

MAKAELA AND THE DRINK MACHINE:

*drags out of classroom doorway by foot*

FAILING TEXTILES CLASS:

“WHAT’S A PELL GRANT?”

“It’s FREE MONEY!”

“I’M GONNA NEED THAT PELL GRANT BACK, IT WAS A MISTAKE”

“THE UNIVERSITY IS CLOSED DUE TO SNOW”:

NO EXAM TODAY, BITCHEZ!

PRESENT YOUR 400 REQUIRED DRAWINGS ASSIGNMENT FROM LAST NIGHT, THAT WAS ON THE SYLLABUS I GAVE YOU 4 MONTHS AGO, BUT NEVER REQUESTED OR DISCUSSED IN CLASS AT ANY POINT IN TIME:

Here ya go!

WHEN AN INSTRUCTOR PEEKS THEIR HEAD INTO THE DIGITAL LAB, HAVING HEARD LOUD LAUGHTER AND A SPONTANEOUS TWO-PERSON RENDITION OF A SPICE GIRLS’ SONG DOWN THE HALL:

Good luck, LaLa-Bean! I’m so excited for you and T! I miss you preeeeetty much every day from here anyways, so you can assume the trend will continue. ❤

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The Magic of Rahat and The Lone Nut

I have been off in the wild blue yonder fighting the forest fires of the internal turmoil that are my artistic endeavors. (It’s not actually turmoil, but I liked that it made it seem more dramatic.) I have also been consuming a lot of Pad Thai and midnight VH1. SO I have decided to post something enjoyable that is shorter, as it might be a better route than waiting until I have the eight years I need to put together what I deem to be “a proper post.”

I will start with the following. Before your mind gets scared, this is picture proof of Smith’s insistence on clinging to the empty tinfoil of cookies that he consumed over Christmas. He is currently insisting on keeping this remnant of holiday bliss because it houses one, lone, chocolate-covered cashew that fell off of a chocolate haystack circa December 28th. Warning, what you are about to see may disturb you:

I'll won't let go, Jack. I'll never let go.

I’ll won’t let go, Jack. I’ll never let go.

Next, this video made me laugh extremely hard today. I may be overreacting, but if I were about twenty years older, I am more than certain I would have needed a Poise pad and possibly a bath.

I hope you enjoy this video as much as I did.

For the 50+ crowd, please feel free to use a Poise at your discretion.