Any other girls ever curious about how to tie a tie? As a child, I was always fascinated watching my Dad magically turn a piece of oddly shaped cloth into a beautifully tied knot. I think because my Dad was a business man and not really the creative type – so seeing him whip the loose ends of the tie around so purposefully and artistically made me think he was some kind of secret artist I’d never heard of. (Because he was secret, you see.) You’d think with that much fascination that I would have been tying ties all my life like a mullafugga, right? Wrong. Tie knot instructions are lost on me. Let me take you through learning to tie a tie with me in “five easy steps.”
My reaction to step one: I’m excited! —> “Oh yeah! I always wanted to do this… like professionally! Here’s my chance! Okay, concentrate!”
My thoughts: “Hmm I’ll read a few more steps and then find me a tie! Yes! This is gonna be awesome! I’ll be tying everyone’s ties! They will know me and my tie knots throughout the land! Gasp, maybe I’ll even invent a knot! HOLY CRAP!…”
My thoughts: “Eff this, I’m out.”
Then I go eat a bunch of chocolate and contemplate my life choices.
Luckily Smith can tie his own, or I can tie him a nice bow-like tie, as if it was intended for a present – which could totally work around the holidays.
Can you tie a tie? THEN SHUT THE HELL UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE!
If you’d like to learn to tie a tie, try Esquire (5 steps, in images like above).