Today, I am thankful for…
Letting that crazy colored school bus out in front of me.
And yes, he’s totally a real-azz camel hanging out of the emergency exit on a moving school bus. You can’t tell that camel what to do!
Also thankful for…
Having pets that seem to enjoy dressing up for Halloween. Or at least, don’t eat my face off when I approach them with something strange that I then put on their body.
Having gotten to see Sigur Ros and Nine Inch Nails mere weeks apart!
Speaking of NIN – did I ever tell you that I made my mom go see them? She was talked into seeing Marilyn Manson with a group of co-workers and had “a lovely time” so I thought well, NIN she ought to “love to pieces” then, right? She’ll be cross stitching “NIN” on everything in no time, right?! Wrong. It changed her. It also made her expect larger gifts from me at Christmas. Additionally, she’s now convinced that Trent Reznor has a chain of hidden cameras mounted in public restrooms across the continental United States, and that said public restrooms have now become a “hip place where everyone is humping.” No amount of explaining could convince her otherwise.
I’m also thankful for this meme texted to me as it related to conversation from Penny:
And for our mutual friend, Ernie thinking that “sleeping in” is defined by being able to meet and coordinate a group outing 40 minutes away at 11:00 in the morning:
Happy Thankful Thursdays y’all! Now get out there and be somebody!
Once upon a time, there lived a magical turtle…
Herman was born in captivity. Eleven years ago, Herman went to live with the Unicorn after a certain man-boy named “Lee” decided he didn’t want the gift from his wife, Lala’s, vacation trip to a Myrtle Beach “Buy a Turtle” store. In any case, the Unicorn was happy for the twist of fate that brought Herman to her. After all, Herman was adorable and all alone in the world!
While Herman liked to do all sorts of things, he particularly loved doing a few things most.
1. Clearing the rocks from the one side of his tank to the other:
2. Taking baths:
3. Diving under “majestic waterfalls.”
Herman lived his life as quite the man turtle. He drank 40’s, bench pressed things in his tank – prison yard style, ignored wussy turtle rules like : “A turtle does not grow as to exceed the size of one’s tank.” (He was the size of a half dollar when the stork brought him – now he’s the size of an IHOP triple stack.) One day, Herman’s Unicorn mother was faced with the facts: Herman, was not a Herman. Herman was just a Her—.
And so “Herman” became “Hermione.”
We’re suggesting the change slowly: